Just yesterday, I was
mentoring a teacher; it was her fourth day working with preschool children. Her
previous teaching experience is working with Junior High technology students. I
had provided her with support a week previously and had asked her to hang a
picture schedule for the children to follow. I had gone over examples,
explained the reasoning behind it. When I arrived she had created two
schedules, one that was hanging outside the classroom door for the parents to
review and another hung in the classroom, above the child’s view. The schedule
inside the classroom was non-child friendly. So, when I talked to her about the
schedule, she immediately became angry and defensive.
I understand that she has little experience so initially I took
the approach of avoiding the conflict, an escapist strategy (O’Hair &
Weiman, 2012). I did this by suggesting that I we use Board Maker, to help up
created a schedule, and that I can work on this later. My thinking is that it had resolved this
issue. Yet, I could tell for her she was still angry. She then asked what was
next on the list. Her tone, led me to believe that she had not put that issue
to bed.
I then took a different approach. I asked her if she wanted to
talk about, debate the issue for why the children needed a schedule. She
brought about a few key points. I asked her probing questions, like without a
schedule, how will the children know what is next on the classroom routine?
Asking probing question can help parties explore the pros and cons of an issue,
encouraging either side to consider both the positive and negative aspects of
it (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012). This approach did help. The conflict though a
simple one still carried with it more layers. It I believe it is a symptom of a
larger problem between the two of us, which will probably require continued conflict
resolution.
O'Hair, D., &
Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:
Bedford/St. Martin's.
Millie,
ReplyDeleteIt is challenging and draining (I think) when there is some type of personality conflict with a co-worker. Keeping emotions out of the mix helps one to focus on the issue (Conflict Resolution Network, n.d.). I think that is true but very hard to do. I found the chart in the CR kit regrading managing emotions and handling others to be really helpful. "People's behavior occurs for a purpose. They are looking for ways to belong, feel significant, and self-protect...How we respond to their difficult behaviours can determine how entrenched these become" (CRN, n.d.). Maybe the chart lists behavior that might fit this coworker and give you some good ideas. (When I printed out the CR kit it was on p. 10).
Conflict Resolution Network. (n.d.) CR kit. Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12
Suzanne,
DeleteI take your advice to heart. Keeping emotions out of the mix absolutely makes the process better for all involved. I believe that the teacher is frustrated not so much with me but herself. She has bitten off more then she can chew. As we know working with young children is and can be challenging. As a mentor I want this teacher to find success. Yet, I am unsure if that is possible. We shall see.
Thanks, for your insight!
Millie
I loved it Millie! It is very difficult as an educator sometimes to take advice from others when we feel we already know how to teach. I went through a year long process my first year at the CDC on base and it took alot of conflict resolution to find a compromise between me and the trainer. It will take time but in the end she will appreciate the help, I know I did. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteMichele,
ReplyDeleteThank-you for your advice and your support. I agree with Suzanne, and I tell myself to keep the emotion out of things...
I try to be empathetic to the teachers that I am mentoring. I remember how overwhelming and stressful at times teaching can be. But I really encourage my teachers to have fun and enjoy the teaching. Sadly, though I don't teachers take into account that we are their to enjoy the process. The other issue I find is that placing teachers who have little or no experience working with young children can be a mistake for all involved. Unfortunately its the nature of the beast!!
Thanks again for your though provoking comments.
Millie
Hi Millie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your experience. It is a scenario that can occur in any work place since people often have conflicting goals, beliefs and ideas. Incompatible goals can spark conflict (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012, p. 224). I guess, the new teacher’s previous teaching experience in working with higher grade children might have caused her to have different goals and ideas that were not age appropriate for her present class. With your experience in this field, your goals for this age group would be definitely different. Therefore since the ideas and goals both of you perceived is different, conflict was bound to arise. She must have felt threatened and that is probably why she took on a defensive climate (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012, p. 229). What is important is to be able to move from a defensive climate to a supportive one where both the communicators honestly and considerately explore each other’s ideas and feelings and together resolve the conflicting problem (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012, p. 230). This assignment lets us be aware of the need to clarify perceptions and eliminate unnecessary conflict.
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Millie,
ReplyDeleteIt was great reading your post! I like that you were willing to take another approach after the first one was not working for you. It was good to see that you were the bigger person willing to change in order to solve the conflict.
This is very intersesting. What I have gathered is that she may be one of those people who just don't like being told what to do. I feel that what you mentioned to her really should not have caused conflict. It's been my expeience to keep down the conflict we have to let our gaurds down and try and level with the person. I think she will get easier to communicate with the more you all interact.
ReplyDeleteMillie,
ReplyDeleteYou do a wonderful job handling this conflict and from what it sounds like you learned a lot about your communication style and changed based on the need of the situation. Using probing questions and empathetic listening is so important. Last year, I experienced difficulty with an administrator and would have felt much more respected had he asked some probing questions to better understand my thought process. It really does work. Thanks for sharing!